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I feel completely taken for granted. I do so much but he doesn’t seem to appreciate or even notice the impact I have in his life anymore.
He says all I do is nag, but all I’m doing is asking him to do the dishes after I cook, or clean up after himself. He lives like a college boy and I’m the maid who comes over and clean it.
I want to spend time with him, whether it’s on the couch or out in town, but he is bored because he feels like I’m just keeping him from his friends. He said marrying me turned him into a loser because now he has no friends. He has no friends because they think it will make a fuss to ask if it’s okay for him to go. He doesn’t want to be friends with other couples.
I don’t like his friends because they’re mostly single alcoholics that make terrible decisions. Having them over my house is always a mess I have to clean. He thinks I hold him back from doing what he wants which is drink, play video games, or go out with his single friends. All while I pick up the towel he left on the floor because he couldn’t hang it himself, put his dirty clothes in the hamper because it was just 2 inches too far, picking up all the dirty dishes from the coffee table because putting them in the sink is too much to ask, wiping the spills because he doesn’t know how to use a paper towel, and doing the dishes right cooking dinner because he never does it. He relaxes all day during off work hours, while after work, I do everything with the chores before I can relax. Then it’s still a problem for me to want to watch something with him instead of watch him scream into his xbox headphones with his friends.
Because of this, I am a nagger and he has no friends. He is a loser thanks to me and he loves work because it’s a break away from me.
Sometimes I just want to shutter into a box and hide from the rest of the world. Because the man I married makes me feel so little and annoying. I don’t feel attractive. I feel lonely, unappreciated, and ugly. I have no self confidence and now my friends are starting to call me sensative.
The only person who lends me a listening ear without any judgement is my mother. And that’s because we’re in the same boat of loneliness. It seems that none of the women in my family have healthy, successful, lasting marriages. And I’m here to take the next generation of anxiety and depression with no one else to ever find me worth giving a damn about.
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